Soglimbop is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable clam.

Soglimbop created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Soglimbop, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Soglimbop, she will strike you with lightening.

Soglimbop's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Soglimbop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt doves.

2. Never feed limes to swans while wearing gray scarves.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never paint your arms white.