Arflimpak is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, all-knowing dove.

Arflimpak created a photon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arflimpak, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arflimpak, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Arflimpak's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Arflimpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Worship no other gods but Arflimpak.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Put Arflimpak first in all things.