Pidtofflab is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud beaver.

Pidtofflab created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Pidtofflab, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pidtofflab, it will turn you into a frog.

Pidtofflab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Pidtofflab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs in need.

2. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never go into black rooms.

4. Always obey Pidtofflab's priests.

5. Always help turtles.