Monbodvig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever squirrel.

Monbodvig created an up quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Monbodvig, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monbodvig, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Monbodvig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Monbodvig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always help sick badgers.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Retreat if four birds approach from the west.