Cubqueegnel is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciful walrus.

Cubqueegnel created bats six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubqueegnel, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Cubqueegnel, she will jump up and down on your head.

Cubqueegnel's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cubqueegnel's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Never talk about otters.

3. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

4. Hide if nine snails approach from the west.

5. Never go into blue rooms.