Tapappingzen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic hedgehog.

Tapappingzen created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tapappingzen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tapappingzen, she will turn you into a puffin.

Tapappingzen's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Tapappingzen's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

2. Never hurt squirrels.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never look in ponds.