Vadxinbat is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, proud monkey.

Vadxinbat created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadxinbat, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vadxinbat, she will turn you into a hamster.

Vadxinbat's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vadxinbat's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat wheat.

2. Erect seven lead sculptures of Vadxinbat on top of important buildings.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.