Doncemdog is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, moody donkey.

Doncemdog created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Doncemdog, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Doncemdog, he will turn you into a slug.

Doncemdog's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Doncemdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Respect your elders.