Dossgofhap is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, dishonest jellyfish.

Dossgofhap created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossgofhap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dossgofhap, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dossgofhap's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dossgofhap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick manatees.

2. Never run in the presence of tapirs.

3. Do not take Dossgofhap's name in vain.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Feed all hungry dogs.