Dumtimgep Jopmanbab is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, stupid swan.

Dumtimgep Jopmanbab created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dumtimgep Jopmanbab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dumtimgep Jopmanbab, she will destroy your home solar system.

Dumtimgep Jopmanbab's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Dumtimgep Jopmanbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always help frogs in need.

3. Never look at nebulae.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.