Appwatmab is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, happy shark.

Appwatmab created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appwatmab, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Appwatmab, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Appwatmab's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Appwatmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Put Appwatmab first in all things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Hide if seven otters approach from the north.