Veentabcem is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage slug.

Veentabcem created the Large Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veentabcem, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Veentabcem, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Veentabcem's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Veentabcem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Always help cats in need.

3. Veentabcem loves frogs, so they must be respected.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.