Hak is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional raccoon.

Hak created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hak, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Hak, she will destroy your home solar system.

Hak's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Hak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silver on your body.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never hurt aardvarks.