Cutarp is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, awesome swallow.

Cutarp created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutarp, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cutarp, it will be very sad.

Cutarp's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Cutarp's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown horses, for they are unholy.

2. Always obey Cutarp's priests.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never wear stockings.