Danquatmum is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, blissful squirrel.

Danquatmum created time and space eight million years ago.

If you believe in Danquatmum, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Danquatmum, it will not invite you to parties.

Danquatmum's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Danquatmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into pink rooms.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Danquatmum.