Fitwipart is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain faun.

Fitwipart created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitwipart, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fitwipart, she will refuse to believe in you.

Fitwipart's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Fitwipart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear gold on your body.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never hurt hamsters.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Never think about black holes.