Veencapkom is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, irritating lizard.

Veencapkom created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Veencapkom, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Veencapkom, he will be very sad.

Veencapkom's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Veencapkom's Holy Commandments

1. Veencapkom loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

2. Feed all hungry foxes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not wear purple clothing.

5. Never eat bark.