Flampighaslegvegtap is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, charitable hedgehog.

Flampighaslegvegtap created a down quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flampighaslegvegtap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Flampighaslegvegtap, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Flampighaslegvegtap's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Flampighaslegvegtap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate ants.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Flampighaslegvegtap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not stand on grass.