Zossshavwad is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart meerkat.

Zossshavwad created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Zossshavwad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zossshavwad, she will not care at all.

Zossshavwad's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Zossshavwad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Do not hurt snakes.