Listjadfun Ham is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, compassionate naga.

Listjadfun Ham created a down quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Listjadfun Ham, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Listjadfun Ham, she will turn you into a slug.

Listjadfun Ham's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Listjadfun Ham's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never paint your arms brown.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Never mention bats.