Hivgumbim is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, grumpy snake.

Hivgumbim created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Hivgumbim, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Hivgumbim, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Hivgumbim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Hivgumbim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt squirrels.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help mice.

5. Retreat if nine whales approach from the north.