Yokgutnil is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, impressive eagle.

Yokgutnil created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokgutnil, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Yokgutnil, he will turn you into a puffin.

Yokgutnil's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Yokgutnil's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yokgutnil.

2. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing blue shoes.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yokgutnil.

4. Never hurt tapirs.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.