Zimnanzod is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, vain jaguar.

Zimnanzod created the Black Eye Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimnanzod, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zimnanzod, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Zimnanzod's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Zimnanzod's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven iron sculptures of Zimnanzod on top of important buildings.

2. Never feed gooseberries to mites while wearing pink kilts.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Worship no other gods but Zimnanzod.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.