Woncusswat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, slow armadillo.

Woncusswat created the world two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Woncusswat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Woncusswat, it will refuse to believe in you.

Woncusswat's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Woncusswat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Feed all hungry foxes.

5. Never pour water over plants.