Hadmongub is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic snail.

Hadmongub created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hadmongub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hadmongub, it will turn you into a tree.

Hadmongub's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hadmongub's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red jumpers.

2. Do not run in public.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not cook food in pots.