Nurlminsadtabpanquill is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving cat.

Nurlminsadtabpanquill created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Nurlminsadtabpanquill, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nurlminsadtabpanquill, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nurlminsadtabpanquill's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Nurlminsadtabpanquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near monkeys.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Nurlminsadtabpanquill on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about planets.

5. Run away from turquoise manatees, for they are unholy.