Bastcussvid is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic turtle.

Bastcussvid created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastcussvid, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bastcussvid, she will turn you into a worm.

Bastcussvid's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Bastcussvid's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Shrews are not to be trusted.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Always take life seriously.