Tambiffet is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, dishonest whale.

Tambiffet created silver two years ago.

If you believe in Tambiffet, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tambiffet, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tambiffet's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tambiffet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tambiffet.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. You must pray to Tambiffet six times a day.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tambiffet.