Saglibtif is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, awesome monkey.

Saglibtif created Africa eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saglibtif, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Saglibtif, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Saglibtif's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Saglibtif's Holy Commandments

1. Saglibtif must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.