Bendumquartman is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, slow hyena.

Bendumquartman created the universe three million years ago.

If you believe in Bendumquartman, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bendumquartman, it will turn you into a slug.

Bendumquartman's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bendumquartman's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bendumquartman eight times a day.

2. Hide from brown horses for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about porpoises.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.