Lagdudtailtigyogjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humorless dryad.

Lagdudtailtigyogjarn created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagdudtailtigyogjarn, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lagdudtailtigyogjarn, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Lagdudtailtigyogjarn's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Lagdudtailtigyogjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagdudtailtigyogjarn.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not take Lagdudtailtigyogjarn's name in vain.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lagdudtailtigyogjarn.