Farquagcad is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, impressive turtle.

Farquagcad created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farquagcad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Farquagcad, she will turn you into a snail.

Farquagcad's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Farquagcad's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Hide if six turtles approach from the south.

5. Respect your elders.