Taildissbass is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy spider.

Taildissbass created matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Taildissbass, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Taildissbass, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Taildissbass' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Taildissbass' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silver sculpture of Taildissbass on top of all buildings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.