Arpquatflag is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, weak wyrm.

Arpquatflag created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpquatflag, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpquatflag, it will destroy your home planet.

Arpquatflag's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Arpquatflag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Arpquatflag's name in vain.

2. Always help tortoises in need.

3. Never hurt swans.

4. Erect five silicon sculptures of Arpquatflag on top of important buildings.

5. Do not covet oxen.