Cissjamboddib is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unjust slug.

Cissjamboddib created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Cissjamboddib, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cissjamboddib, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cissjamboddib's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Cissjamboddib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Swans are not to be trusted.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.