Tapsatwap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody pigeon.

Tapsatwap created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapsatwap, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapsatwap, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Tapsatwap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Tapsatwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about pigs.

2. Worship no other gods but Tapsatwap.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tapsatwap.

4. Always wear blue.

5. Never think ill of sick swans.