Pidzankim is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, amazing salamander.

Pidzankim created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Pidzankim, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pidzankim, she will turn you into a plant.

Pidzankim's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Pidzankim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Pidzankim first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not cook food in pots.