Bastniltag is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, vain dolphin.

Bastniltag created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastniltag, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bastniltag, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bastniltag's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bastniltag's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not shave your legs.