Appbembig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, confident dryad.

Appbembig created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appbembig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Appbembig, he will turn you into a snail.

Appbembig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Appbembig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away if four tapirs approach from the west.

3. Never bounce near gulls.

4. Mites are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.