Dagpitnellog is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, generous bear.

Dagpitnellog created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagpitnellog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagpitnellog, he will not care at all.

Dagpitnellog's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Dagpitnellog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Hide if nine manatees approach from the south.