Lapton is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, able owl.

Lapton created Mount Everest nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapton, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lapton, she will be very sad.

Lapton's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Lapton's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. You must love Lapton.

3. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not make images of living things.