Lopjarntam Koppoppop is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, proud human.

Lopjarntam Koppoppop created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lopjarntam Koppoppop, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lopjarntam Koppoppop, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Lopjarntam Koppoppop's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Lopjarntam Koppoppop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Do not hurt porpoises.