Bossjadbog is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid bear.

Bossjadbog created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bossjadbog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bossjadbog, he will turn you into a rock.

Bossjadbog's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Bossjadbog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Do not cook food in pots.