Flatwodbon is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, thoughtless chicken.

Flatwodbon created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatwodbon, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flatwodbon, she will turn you into a snail.

Flatwodbon's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flatwodbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Flatwodbon must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Flatwodbon loves rats, so they must be honoured.

4. Never eat figs.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.