Cemvolgum is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, able hedgehog.

Cemvolgum created the universe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemvolgum, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cemvolgum, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cemvolgum's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Cemvolgum's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Cemvolgum must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Cemvolgum loves mites, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.