Wapnatwat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, humorless parrot.

Wapnatwat created snails six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapnatwat, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Wapnatwat, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Wapnatwat's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wapnatwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Run away if nine rats approach from the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.