Gamfumtik is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, resourceful beaver.

Gamfumtik created the solar system two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gamfumtik, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gamfumtik, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gamfumtik's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gamfumtik's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Gamfumtik.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never mention turtles.