Hinmumlarp is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, competent hamster.

Hinmumlarp created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinmumlarp, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hinmumlarp, he will turn you into a puffin.

Hinmumlarp's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Hinmumlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hinmumlarp.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.