Yamvoggab is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, annoying tortoise.

Yamvoggab created Europe eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yamvoggab, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Yamvoggab, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Yamvoggab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yamvoggab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat tomatoes.

2. Never mention turtles.

3. Do not speak about grapes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.