Gonyattim is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unjust ferret.

Gonyattim created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonyattim, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gonyattim, she will turn you into a slug.

Gonyattim's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gonyattim's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Never mention monkeys.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Never skip in holy places.